6 tips to take advantage of self-marketing on dating apps
That your own assessment is put by others, weakens you. There will always be the one who thinks you’re a genius and the one who thinks you’re dense, the one who drinks with your intensity and the one who doesn’t. There are people who prefer your most introspective facet, others who like you with all your madness on. The automarketing it rebels against this way of bonding with you and disobeys the model that many of us apprehend of seeking to be what others expect.
“Automarketing” is a concept that led Luchi Number to the world of social networks, by which the little voices of the past and of our surroundings are turned off and you decide how to relate to yourself. In this new way of looking at yourself, your own value is defined by you and not the rest. Starting to exercise self-love more and knowing how to appreciate yourself as you are will bring a double gift: you will feel better about yourself and you will discover a new way of dealing with your bonds that will favor you.
Before you even start chatting with someone, ask yourself: what can this person bring to my wonderful life? When you show that you are worth, the other reacts accordingly. Stop wanting the other person to like you and start to see if you really like him/her. Some people are sometimes so set to find happiness in a couple that we forget that the important thing is to love each other and love our world.
Devoting many hours of chat (and energy) to someone you don’t know is transmitting: “my time is not valuable, I spend it chatting with someone I don’t know”. Your time is worth a lot, because you care a lot about your well-being, about growing and evolving. So, take care of that time and dedicate it to whoever has earned it. The less time you dedicate to the other, the more you want to see you. It’s a win-win.
When we are too focused on attracting, we move away from ourselves.. That effort to be liked means that what you say and do is off axis and that you are read differently from what you are, which can be unattractive. In addition to how the other will receive your effort, you make yourself very vulnerable, and if, after all that you did to please him, the other rejects you, you will feel terrible. Go to the appointment seeing what the other has to contribute to your life, instead of how you are going to make him like you.
Women were taught that the more relationships we have in our history, the less we are worth. To them, on the other hand, they transmitted the opposite. When they’re messing around, they’re usually doing it with others at the same time. Because, the ideal is to have several lit candles, that helps you not to focus all your attention on someone who you have no idea what they want. Also, if a candle goes out, you have others to illuminate you (although their flame is softer).
The way your body lays out on a first date speaks to your mind. For example: they sit at a table, you sit in front of him, bring the chair closer and rest your elbows on the table with your back off the backrest. In this way you are leaning towards him and he is thrown back, receiving your inclination. The signal your mind receives is “I accept that this kid doesn’t make the effort to come closer to listen to me, I accept that he isn’t interested in me listening to him. I strain and move to receive his words and so that he can hear me.” From that pose, it is very likely that the entire date will be handled like this, trying to please, trying to make him look at you, see you and pay attention to you. To do the great “fake it till you make it” leave your back on the chair, it will help you put yourself in a place of greater value and respond differently.
Telling a lot about yourself puts you in a vulnerable place, and if the next day he doesn’t call you, you feel terrible because he didn’t “accept you” with how genuine you had been! Also, revealing little generates intrigue and we humans love a bit of mystery. To ask questions, put yourself in the role of a “racy interviewer”, not a psychologist, not a mom, not the empathetic goodie. The spicy is attractive, and not referring to the sexual, but to be a bit incisive, a bit feisty, or maybe mischievous. If to everything he says, you answer “how good”, “how genius”, or “how interesting”, you are the mother or grandmother. But if you give everything he tells you a dose of spice, ask him interesting questions and even make him feel uncomfortable, you become an interesting date. And who doesn’t want to have an interesting and fun date again?
Lucía Numer grew up, studied and works surrounded by women. Her life always swam between seas of female talk of all kinds, and that is how she once discovered that there was a topic of conversation that was – by far – the one that confused and dizzy women the most: men and relationships. This is how this new concept began to weave, which – far from strategies – is about finding our value and asserting ourselves, “because only in this way are we going to make others see us for what we are: valuable people”.
These are some of his mantras: