May 15, 2022 7:02 am

The story you tell yourself about your life thus influences your emotions

The stories, in any of its forms, have great power. To realize this, it is only necessary to see the little ones and their reactions to well-told stories. Those wide eyes, that open mouth, that attention full, that suffering for what will or will not happen to the hero, that passage of time towards an end, hopefully, happy. But the power of stories does not end in tales, we could say that it begins there, that each one of us, already in childhood, begins to understand the world through stories. Therein lies your secret. we are stories. We are made of them. This means that when we remember the lastWe tell it to ourselves in the form of a story.

The present (who we are today, here and now), we also tell ourselves in the form of a story and, most importantly, we project ourselves into the future in story form. So if this is so, we can use the techniques of those who know how to build a story that works to make our own story work. What needs to happen so that I can get closer to the ending I desire? Am I at the beginning of this story (for example, finding a new job, improving my relationship or developing my artistic side) or am I tangled in a Gordian knot? Is this story already over and I am not able to abandon it and move on? What kind of protagonist do I need to be to achieve my happy ending, my storybook ending?

This is the secret of the stories, although, obviously, we can ask ourselves… why is this so? Well, we have talked about the secret, but not yet about the can and we have started by ensuring that stories have great power. Which? that connect us emotionally. With others, with ourselves, with the future, with life. The power of stories is a emotional power and that is, yes, very powerful. Let’s go back to that boy, that girl, who is listening so attentively to the story we tell. What happens in your head, in your heart, in the depths of your being? That connects emotionally. It doesn’t matter if he knows that the Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf thing has never happened and will never happen in real life. That doesn’t matter to him. What does matter is that you feel afraid, anguish, suspenseesperanza Y joy when the story ends well. And that bunch of emotions It makes him understand, understand himself, manage complicated situations in a security framework that, in this case, is fiction itself. This is how it grows and prepares to enter the world.

Vargas Llosa said that literature is a great lie that tells a great truth. That is so and more… Because that truth is not the exclusive heritage of literature but of all stories, even those that we tell ourselves. Here is a very important point, since all this is not only valid for little red riding hoods and wolves, it is valid for stories we tell ourselves. Let’s recover that of telling each other the past, the present and the future in the form of a story. There is no real fiction here. But there is narration and, therefore, there is emotional connection. Let’s see an example: Yesterday I went to dinner and the service was a disaster. I don’t know the reason, but the waiter who attended us, from the first moment, seemed to have a mania for us. It was like that all night. He even threw the glass of wine on me! An evening disaster. I will not return to that place. It will be possible! What did I do to that guy to make him treat me this way?

«I can tell myself the past in one way or another and depending on what I choose, I will connect with some emotions or with others»

Let’s stop here. What is happening? Easy. If I tell myself this event in this way, I automatically connect with the emotion of the anger, the Rage… it may end up in the ira. How not, if I have felt unfairly treated! But this is so because I tell myself so. I can (I have the power) to tell it to myself in another way, for example, that yesterday I went to dinner and that the waiter, the poor thing, was very nervous. Would it be your first day of work? Would I have reminded him of a friend from his adolescence with whom he has some unfinished business and he didn’t dare to ask me? Is it a protected witness who is a waiter as a cover and that’s why he was so unlucky all night? Whatever, but I explain it to myself in another way and by doing so I connect with other emotions, such as compassion, or empathy or even intrigue, why not, since if I think that he is a protected witness who is serving in that restaurant… do you get the idea? That’s it. I can tell myself the past in one way or another and depending on what I choose, I will connect with some emotions or with others.

If this is important to tell me (understand) the past, it is even more so when I tell myself the future, that is, when I project to future. Imagine that tomorrow I have a presentation in front of a client and I tell myself that, as it is very difficult for me to speak in public, I will do it badly, I will look worse and, well, everything will be a disaster. If I project myself into the future like this, how do you think the presentation will turn out? What emotions do you think I will walk into the meeting room with? Shame, insecurity, fear… So it will be very difficult for things to work out. On the other hand, if, let’s take the case, I tell myself that tomorrow I have a presentation and that, despite the fact that I am not the best speaker in the world, I have prepared myself and that, moreover, in any case, it will be a good chance to learn, to gain security and confidence and that, over time, I am sure that I will improve a lot about presenting in public, things will change, right? It is more than possible that he will enter that room in another way and, in this way (forgive the pun), the result will be very different. Different emotions, different ways of entering reality. It’s not by chance. And it is that emotion comes from the Latin e-movere and we can translate it as “from where we move”. In other words, if I am in the emotion of fear, I enter reality from that emotion. Therefore, all of me will be rigid, ready to escape, on the verge of shock, go. On the other hand, if I enter reality from the emotion of joy, my whole being will be open to the here and now, bright, safe and wanting to have fun. It is for this reason that We must be very careful with what we tell each other.yes We can fill our hearts with possibilities or we can intoxicate our thoughts with limitations. To be aware of this reality is to be aware of the great power of the stories we tell ourselves, that we tell others, that we also explain about others. And it is already known (since we have talked about fiction, fantasy and truths) that all power carries a great responsibility. In this case, this responsibility translates into we are responsible for believing, and creating, what we are telling. Even that we can be more than responsible and simply become the protagonists of our own story, the one that we want to be our own and propitious, because since we can tell ourselves the story… well, let it have a happy endingdon’t you think?

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